Heero in Love
by Airurando
Summary: The tables have turned! Now Heero is the one obsessed with Relena, and drives her to the point of insanity.


"HEERO IN LOVE"  
(A quick note to all Relena-haters: This story is a joke but for once it is not anti-Relena! So   
if you ARE a Relena hater, here's a quick little story that will refresh your mind and will help   
you withstand the content in the following story! Ready?)  
*One day Relena decided to go for a walk. It was a bright, sunny day and she was skipping down   
the sidewalk and singing.*  
RELENA: La la la la la la laaaaaa!!!!!!  
*All of a sudden a big anvil fell out of the sky and crushed her*  
RELENA: Lalala.... Owwwww!!!!!  
*Relena recovers and the audience groans in dissapointment*  
AUDIENCE: *groan*  
*Relena bounces back up only to be attacked by a swarm of midget clowns with rubber mallots*  
CLOWNS: (hitting Relena) *bop bop* (evil laughter here)  
RELENA: Ow! *bop* Ow!  
AUDIENCE: Yay!  
*The clowns chase Relena into a nearby building. She runs all the way to the top floor trying   
to escape them. They chase her on to the roof. Relena backs slowly to the edge, then loses her   
balance and falls on to the pavement below.*  
RELENA: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *thud* (unhealthy crunching sounds are also heard)  
CLOWNS: *snicker*  
AUDIENCE: Yay!  
*However, Relena has landed safely in a pile of garbage*  
AUDIENCE: Boo!  
CLOWNS: *holding noses* Phewy! She stinks!  
RELENA: Waaaahhhh! There's garbage in my hair!  
AUDIENCE & CLOWNS: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
AUTHOR: Okay, okay, enough already! On to the story!  
"Heero in Love"  
Rating: G  
Premise: Unlike other Gundam Wing fanfics, this one features Heero obsessed with Relena, and   
Relena is very annoyed with him following her around all the time.  
NARRATOR: Our story begins with the author and I watching the video tape Heero was trying to   
keep away from us all this time. We soon discover why.... Heh heh...   
*The video is of Heero telling Relena he loves her and giving her a kiss. It must have been cut   
from a Gundam Wing episode because of all its cheesiness!*  
AUTHOR: *Giggling* Awww!!! That's so sweet! ^.^ Let's rewind it and watch it again!  
*Narrator and Author are rewinding the tape and laughing over Heero's mushiness. All of a   
sudden, Heero enters and pulls his gun.*  
HEERO: Give me back that tape and I'll shoot you.  
NARRATOR: *gulp* Don't you mean, "Give me back that tape OR I'll shoot you"?  
HEERO: *thinks for a second* NO!  
*BANG! BANG!*  
AUTHOR: Okay, we'll give you back the tape! *moves to eject it from the VCR*  
HEERO: Hurry up before it's too....  
*the other Gundam pilots enter the room*  
HEERO: .... late. *sweatdrop*  
*Duo, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei enter laughing and joking around until they see what is on the TV.   
They are stunned into silence.*  
ALL: .....................  
*Then they burst out laughing and talking all at once*  
DUO: So THIS is what you've been keeping from us, huh, Heero? *snicker*  
QUATRE: You really DO love Relena, don't you?  
TROWA: .....  
WUFEI: You sissy! Kisses are for weaklings! HAHAHA!!!!  
*Trowa is still silent but is starting to turn red from suppressing his laughter. He is about   
to explode*  
TROWA: ....hmm.....ha.....heh heh......hmmmph.......ha....Oh, heck!   
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *He falls to the ground clutching   
his stomach, laughing his head off and rolling around*  
HEERO: *turns deep red, then pulls his gun back out*  
AUTHOR: Wait! I won't let anyone in this story die an unneccessary death! I rated this one G,   
remember?  
HEERO: Fine. Just give me the tape back and no one gets hurt.  
*Author quickly ejects tape from VCR and hands it to Heero, who storms out of the room. Then   
he goes into another room and pops the tape in the VCR. He sits there watching the tape for   
hours, rewinding it over and over to the part where he kisses Relena.*  
HEERO: *happy smile* Relena... Too bad they never put this scene on TV. It would've been good   
ending for "Endless Waltz."  
RELENA: Heero? What are you doing?  
HEERO: *jumps up, startled by her sudden appearance* Uh, nothing! *quickly turns off TV* Leave   
me alone!  
RELENA: *a little confused by his reaction* Okay, Heero, if that's what you want.   
*friendly smile* See you later!  
HEERO: *sweatdrop* Phew, that was close.... *Turns TV back on*  
NARRATOR: Heero decides to go look for Relena. He finds her taking a walk outside in a garden.  
AUTHOR: When did we get a garden, anyway?  
NARRATOR: I don't know! It sounded good! Now get off my case!  
AUTHOR: Sheesh, sorry!  
HEERO: *thinking* A garden... How romantic.....  
NARRATOR: *to Author* When did Heero become such a sap?  
AUTHOR: This is my story, remember? The whole point of the story is that Heero has fallen in   
love with Relena! Now YOU get off MY case!!!!  
NARRATOR: All right, all right!  
HEERO: Pardon the interruption, but aren't you going to tell me what to do next? I'm getting   
kind of bored just standing here.  
AUTHOR: Sorry.  
*Heero approaches Relena*  
HEERO: That's better!  
RELENA: Huh?  
HEERO: *blushes* Oh, nothing, I was just talking to the author.  
RELENA: Oh, okay. *Looks out to the sunset*  
NARRATOR: There's a sunset now?  
AUTHOR: Yes! There's a sunset! Got a problem with that?  
NARRATOR: No, I guess it's romantic, in a way.  
HEERO: *thinking* A sunset.... How romantic....  
NARRATOR: *points to sunset* That's romantic... *points to Heero*... And that's just sickening!  
HEERO: Hey, I heard that.  
RELENA: Are you talking to the author again?  
HEERO: No, this time it was the narrator.  
RELENA: Oh, okay. *looks at him like he's insane*  
HEERO: Hey, Relena?  
RELENA: Yes?  
HEERO: *suddenly shy* Err...Um... Well, I.... Uh.....  
RELENA: What is it, Heero?  
HEERO: Well, you see....I.... um......uh....  
RELENA: I'm losing my patience.... *starts tapping foot impatiently*  
HEERO: Um, so....Do you like.... Stuff?  
RELENA: *????* What is that supposed to mean?  
NARRATOR: I think he has a crush on you, Relena.  
RELENA: Really? *turns to Heero* Heero, do you really have a crush on me?*  
HEERO: *turns red* I uh... I.... umm.....  
RELENA: I'll take that as a yes.  
NARRATOR: Well, come on, already! Do you like him back or what?  
RELENA: *thinks for a minute* Well, I don't know. He's kinda weird. He's so quiet and angry   
most of the time, and he always magically pulls a gun out of his spandex shorts whenever he's   
upset or can't get his way.  
HEERO: *pulls gun out of nowhere* What do you mean? *looks down and sees gun* Whoops....  
RELENA: *sigh*  
NARRATOR: Hey, that's not how the story is supposed to go! Relena's always been obsessed with   
Heero! Why doesn't she like him now?!  
AUTHOR: Will you quit interrupting! That's the whole point of the story-- Their roles have been   
reversed! Now Heero's the one who's obsessed, and Relena wants to be left alone! Do you get it   
now?!!  
NARRATOR: Yes....  
AUTHOR: Now will you just let the story continue?  
NARRATOR: Okay...  
*Heero tries desperately to impress Relena and win her affection*  
HEERO: Relena, look what I can do! *does a handstand*  
RELENA: *looks bored* That's nice.... I guess...  
HEERO: Now look! I can do it with one hand!  
RELENA: Uh-huh. That's great.  
*Not to be defeated, Heero gets in his Wing Zero. He flies to the moon and comes back with a   
piece of moonrock for Relena. Relena is unimpressed. Heero shoots holes into the ground and   
makes a big heart that says "R + H= Luv."*  
RELENA: *yawn* Can't you do anything interesting?  
HEERO: *thinks about it* I could go jump off that cliff over there and come back without a   
scratch!  
NARRATOR: So now there's a CLIFF, too?  
AUTHOR: Shut up!  
RELENA: Sure, go ahead, see if I care.  
HEERO: *excited* Okay! *jumps off cliff* Waaahhooooo!!!!! *unnatural thud is heard when he   
hits the ground*  
NARRATOR: And Relena STILL doesn't care?  
AUTHOR: Shhh!!! Just watch!  
*Heero comes back looking dizzy and holds out some flowers for Relena*  
HEERO: I...found....these...at...the bottom....of the..... cliff.... *Heero stops spinning   
and falls over*  
RELENA: *gives Heero puzzled look* But, Heero, you didn't have to go jump off a cliff to find   
me flowers! We're in a garden, remember? There are flowers everywhere!  
AUTHOR: How do you know that? I never said WHAT kind of garden it was! I could've made it a   
vegetable garden, for all you know!  
NARRATOR: No, that wouldn't be romantic!  
AUTHOR: Oh yeah? And tell me what isn't romantic about a nice big juicy ripe tomato! Huh?  
HEERO: *still on the ground, dizzy* Tomato..... *little tomatoes start spinning around his head*  
NARRATOR: No! The garden was my idea, and it's a FLOWER garden!!! So there!  
AUTHOR: *sweatdrop* Fine! Have it your way!  
HEERO: Burger king?...... *still dizzy, now dozens of burgers and tomatoes are spinning around   
his head*  
RELENA: *visibly annoyed* I've had enough of this stupidity! I'm leaving! Heero, I'll see you   
at dinner!  
*Relena exits*  
HEERO: *still dizzy, still has burgers and tomatoes spinning around his head* Dinner.... Burger   
King.... tomatoes...... Flowers..... Relena..... *passes out*  
*Later, at dinner*  
*Heero takes the seat next to Relena*  
RELENA: Oh, hi, Heero. *quickly looks away*  
HEERO: *blushes* Hi.   
*plates of food are set before them*  
HEERO: Mmm. Food is good. I like food, don't you, Relena?  
RELENA: Um.... yeah.  
HEERO: My favorite food is Pop Tarts. Do you like Pop Tarts, Relena?  
RELENA: Sure... I guess... *she'll say anything to shut him up*  
HEERO: *beaming* Sometimes I freeze my pop tarts. But I heat them up. Before I eat them.   
RELENA: uh-huh....  
HEERO: Otherwise they hurt my teeth.  
RELENA: Yeah....  
HEERO: That's why I heat them up. Know how?  
RELENA: *sigh* In the toaster?  
HEERO: Yeah! *smile* Do you like toasters?  
RELENA: *clears throat* Excuse me... *slaps Heero in the face*  
HEERO: *stunned, falls out of chair*  
*Relena walks out*  
HEERO: Was... it something I said?  
*Later that night, Relena awakes from a nightmare about Heero going crazy and following her   
around like a lovesick puppy*  
RELENA: Phew! So it was just a dream. That's good. I liked Heero the way he was before....   
*starts to go back to sleep, but she hears some noise outside her window. She gets up to see   
what it is, and opens the curtains leading to her balcony. Heero is there, singing a love song   
and strumming a guitar.*  
HEERO: *singing* Oh, Relena, I love you, Relena, you make my heart beat faster, my lovely   
Relena.... I get lost in your eyes every time I see ya, Releeeeenaaaaa!!!! I loooovveeee you   
Releeeennnaaaaaaa!!!!!  
RELENA: Aaaaaahhhh!!!! So the nightmare was real!!!!   
*Irritated, she marches out to the balcony*  
RELENA: *hushed* Stop it, Heero! Don't let anyone else hear you!  
HEERO: *loudly* I don't care! I will proclaim my love for you from the rooftops!   
*turns to face the horizon and yells at the top of his lungs* I LOVE RELENA!!!!!  
RELENA: No!!! Shut up! *grabs Heero's guitar and hits him on the head with it.   
Stunned, Heero falls off the balcony and and, yet again, an unnatural thud is heard   
when he hits the ground.*  
HEERO: Aaarrggghhhh!!!!! *thud*  
RELENA: There. *tries to ignore the fact that Heero may be hurt, but starts to feel bad* Heero?  
HEERO: .......  
RELENA: Heero? Can you hear me? Are you all right?  
HEERO: .......  
RELENA: Answer me, Heero!  
HEERO: .....ugh......  
RELENA: You're alive! *excitedly runs back into the house and all the way downstairs then   
back outside to where Heero is lying*  
HEERO: ....ugh.... Relena? Is that you?  
RELENA: Yes, Heero. I'm sorry I hit you. I won't do it again, I promise. And I'm sorry I got   
mad at you about the love song you wrote. It was actually very sweet.  
HEERO: *confused* Huh? What are you talking about? What love song? Why would I write a love song?  
RELENA: *throws her arms around Heero* Oh, Heero! You're back to your old self!!!  
HEERO: Why are you touching me?  
RELENA: YAY! *keeps hugging Heero*  
*Heero tries to get away but Relena's grip is too strong. Heero is starting to turn blue*  
HEERO: *thinking to himself* Well, if being mean is all it takes to get her to like me....   
*Heero looks at Relena hugging him*...Then I guess I'll just have to mean! *hehehe*  
THE END  
  



End file.
